Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Enough

After consistently hating myself for as long as I can remember, through annorexia in middle school, self mutilation in high school and college, a "suicide" attempt around 20, depression medications, an overnight stint in a mental hospital, therapy, feeling secure for a couple years, having two children, and constantly, constantly returning to the old feelings of hating myself, I have had enough. I know I am not alone. Women of all types and ages hate themselves everywhere. And it's not just limited to women, men hate themselves too. Why? There has to be a reason why we all seem to look in the mirror and consistently feel we are not enough.

So, I've started to search. In an attempt to understand and reverse the brainwashing that has been going on since before I was born, I have started to look at what it is I hate so much and try to figure out why. What I am finding is that it all boils down to money. Yep, money. What doesn't boil down to money?

I really don't know how long I will stay on this venture, I only know that there are so so many others like me out there and I'm so damn sick of it. I sound angry because I am. Our media, doctors, everywhere we turn are there constantly telling us that there is something wrong with us and that we, normal people, are inadequate. I have decided to at least vent this some in a blog in attempt to chronicle my progress and help others out there. The things that I attack will really hit home for some of you and others, if anyone reads this, will see me as some sort of bitter fugly woman that attacks everything that is normal just because I'm not it. But, I urge you to look beyond the brainwashing yourself and really, really look at what is being fed to you. Am I the wrong and bitter one? Or has the poison just infiltrated down to your core so much that there is no way you can even see it?

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