Thursday, April 28, 2011

Can I sue for psychological/emotional damages?

It's been a long while since I've blogged. I guess I've been too busy, too lazy, and had too many things to say so I didn't even want to start. ;)

I've been wondering for quite some time how certain people can be sued for causing psychological/emotional damages, but companies get by with psychologically damaging people all the time. Really, the concept of suing for those kinds of "damages" is a bit beyond me, but as I was doing some research a while back it dawned on me that if I were going to sue someone for that, I would certainly sue those that truly cause psychological and emotional damages to many people in this country.

It all started with my ongoing battle with my crooked teeth. I've wanted braces since my permanent teeth came in, but as we all know, they aren't cheap. Anyway, I was searching for insurance, or some sort of assistance, anything, that will finally help me straighten these teeth. It's not just appearance, which is, of course, one of the main reasons I want them fixed, but they cause me head and jaw aches, my jaw clicks, and many dentists have told me that my teeth are too close together and that's why I get cavities in between my teeth, no matter how much I floss. I've been told by dentists, who I hope gain nothing from telling me this, that my jaw and cavity problems would be helped by orthodontics. However, while looking I came across a huge "informative" website that said something like this: Your smile is the most striking part of your face. Look in the mirror. Do you like your smile now? How do you react to someone with a pretty smile? Do you find them more attractive? Could you be more attractive with a pretty smile? Studies show that people with pretty smiles are more likely to have more friends, make a better first impression, and be more considered for a job over those with unattractive smiles. Braces will make your smile look wonderful."

Well, shit, just shoot me now. Because not only am I not attractive to myself, I'm not attractive to others, make a bad first impression, and now that explains why I haven't gotten jobs in the past. All due to my genetics and the fact that my parents couldn't afford to mold the teeth in my mouth as is the "fashion" of the times. Of course, I don't fully think this, but really, with wording like that, how else is it supposed to make someone feel? Really, there is nothing on that site in the "Why Get Braces" section that explains the true, health-related reasons for getting orthodontic treatment. And we just let companies do this shit to us over and over and over and over. It's all related to making us feel as shitty as we can because, once again, depressed people are the best consumers.

If you know my family, you know that we rarely ever watch TV. However, we were watching it a while back and a commercial for a hair treatment came on and it posed a truly moronic question. "Is your hair thinning? Do you know that a full head of hair is one of the first things others notice about you? Would you rather have a thinning head of hair and look 15 years older than you are, or would you rather have a full thick head of shimmering hair, making you look younger and healthier than you ever have?"

HMMMM. Well, gee, that's such a tough question. Thanks. Thank you TV infomercial for giving me a really tough question to contemplate tonight. Would I rather look old and bald, or young and sexy? Wow.

All day long companies pump into us that we are not good enough and they have a way to fix the infirmity of being born a natural human. Years and years of this makes most of us feel that we have the worse genes that the human race could have possibly cooked up. Is this not psychological and emotional damage? Screw the psychological damage caused by getting in that car accident. If years of psychological damage hadn't fucked up the person that hit you, she may not have been putting on makeup in her car mirror trying desperately to cover up signs of aging, and may not have hit you.

Anyway, till the next time I gather up enough energy to Bitch about something. If you'd like to know everything something crawls up my ass and bothers me, just hit follow. Have a great day!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Crazy grooming product replacements: Deodorant and toothpaste

As earlier promised, here's my post on deodorant and the like. Sorry it's taken so long and I'm not so sure how great this post is going to be. Daylight savings time really seems to have my clock messed up. Well that and we've been doing some major life debating combined with a sick kid and now today I think Braelen is sick. He's walking around the house carrying a bucket, his idea. Which is cute, but gross.

Anyway, on to the task at hand!

After the birth of Braelen I started some research on what products are safe to use while breastfeeding (which is another rant for the future). It seems as though it really is just hard as fuck for companies to go ahead and test things before using humans for lab rats. Not that it's been proven for sure, but there have been links between using underarm deodorant and breast cancer rates. The National Cancer Institute does state that aluminum and other ingredients found in deodorant can cause cancer. HMM. Obviously what our skin absorbs can enter the breastmilk and I wanted to give my children the least amount of chemicals I could.

Enter: Natural deodorants. No offense to these products, but they kind of suck. Really, I heard bad things about them and most of the bad things were true. The only thing DH and I found that worked for a while was a product called Happy Pits we purchased on Etsy (J did have some good luck for a while with Crystal also). I haven't been able to find it anymore lately, so I'm not sure what happened to it on Etsy. It doesn't matter though, because like many non-natural products, the deodorant worked for awhile but then stopped working. Since I refused to stink I did end up just using normal deodorant while breastfeeding my kids. This was after trying multiple natural deodorants.

Fast forward to now, as I was browsing Vegweb, a great free source for vegan recipes, I happened to stubble upon non-food recipes. One of them was deodorant. I stumbled upon a great, simple recipe for deodorant that really has worked well for us. Will it continue to work for the many years J and I will live? I don't know, I hope so. If it doesn't, at least it worked for this while and is crazy cheap and crazy effective, and a crazy small list of ingredients. Enter...drumroll please..............

BAKING SODA!!

Yep, good ole baking soda again. Are we sensing a pattern? Wash our hair with baking soda, now we put it on our bodies to eliminate stink. Turns out that if baking soda can help your fridge eliminate that stinky onion smell that it can help your body too. After showering we put 1/8 tsp baking soda in the palm of our cupped hand and add 1/4 tsp of water. I use a fingertip to mix the two in the cup of my hand then rub my hands together and then rub underarms. Pretty darn simple. This is just a beginner recipe and you can customize it to your body. For example, when I first started I needed to add just a touch (I mean minuscule) more water because I had a slight rash because it dried out my underarms too much. Problem fully fixed. J and I both use this now and it works much better than deodorant ever worked. Plus, I hate all that fake scented crap (example, I hate it when babies smell like johnson and johnson, I want them to smell like them). Now we just smell like us instead of the "sport" scent, etc. Believe me, it's much more pleasant. However, if you still like a touch of scent add your favorite essential oil to the mix. I've tried lavender but like to smell like me more.  I also use a touch less baking soda after shaving, add a touch of olive oil (a good moisturizer) and put it only right in the pit, not really over to my arm if that makes sense, just in case my armpits are a bit sensitive. Really, customize this to what your body needs and wants.

Just in case you haven't gotten sick of hearing it yet, we also use baking soda as toothpaste now. DH gets a lot of painful canker sores and we read somewhere that something in most toothpastes can cause that. When I found out that baking soda and salt (salt is optional, it's only there to enhance scrubbiness which I feel is unneeded) can be used to brush teeth we decided to try it. Again, baking soda both cleans and deodorizes. We wash hands, put small amount of soda in cupped palm (J adds salt, I don't b/c I feel it's scrubby enough), wet toothbrush, scoop up soda, brush. I brush soft because my toothbrush seems more scrubby without toothpaste. We don't have "minty" breath, but it doesn't stink either. It doesn't really smell like anything. Good job baking soda for deodorizing. :) My teeth also feel cleaner all day. Yeah, it tastes a bit funky at first, but we got used to it and it's fine now. Now instead of putting something in my mouth with a warning to call poison control if children ingest it, I use something that is often used in baking.

Look at our huge baking soda and olive oil!


Note: I have also seen that baking soda can be combined with peroxide to make toothpaste. Have not tried that yet and don't know exact ratios, but may in the future, not sure. For now this works well for us.



Well, that's it for today folks. Keep in mind that these things are just what has worked for our family. We find it more natural, more economical, and feel better about putting less bad things in our bodies. Till next time!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Be Yourself--Perfect

"I got a perfect body but sometimes I forget. I got a perfect body because my eyelashes catch my sweat, yes they do, they dooo." --Folding Chair by Regina Spektor

A bit of uplifting today.

Every time I see or hear Regina I just feel liberated to be myself. I don't know how many times I've seen her live, but every time is amazing. She is genuine, modest and can sing. She started out with just her piano, her elementary guitar knowledge, acapella, and occasionally thwapping a chair with a drum stick. She has now gotten big enough to have a band but her original amazingness is still there. She's always her, her, her and no one else. Forget artists like Lady Gaga who only go against the norm because it "shocks". I FEEL Regina in everything she does. She even re-released her song Better because it wasn't totally "her".

If you'd like to get out of your head for a moment there is nothing like this video for Dance Anthem of the 80's that makes you want to dance around like a dork and rejoice in everything that is you.




And since I can't stop there, if you've got the time or curiosity, let her lure you a little more. 


Samson-Always brings tears to my eyes, right from the first "I loved you first"







Live Ain't No Cover--She only sings this song live and acapella. I love it:


 




Live at Lollapalooza singing The Flowers: She totally stops everything to help someone in the crowd:




 


Monday, March 7, 2011

Crazy grooming product replacements: Step 1-Shampoo

In an effort to decrease the amount of chemicals in our bodies, my husband and I lead a little bit of a different life than the average US citizen. I think it's sad that there are so many chemicals out there and most of them aren't even tested. Not only that, much of the food we eat is processed with chemicals that are well-known to be harmful. For example, chickens are disinfected in chlorine, and it's common practice to use ammonia to kill bacteria in ground beef. Some of our children's most favorite foods are filled with chemicals proven to cause ADHD, hormonal problems, the list goes on and on. Some of these chemicals are actually not used in the very same products in places like Europe. And sadly enough, some of the fondest memories of being a new parent--the smell of baby soap, goofing up as we change our baby's first diaper--are drenched with chemicals that are very, very harmful for our new little ones. Check out healthychild.org or the cosmetic database for some info on these things.

My husband and I have just started to change the way we live. So we aren't experts by any means. We not only want to be kinder to our bodies, but also to the environment. What happens when all these chemicals we slather on our bodies are absorbed and then go down the drain? Do we think it just stops there? Can you even pronounce more than 2 ingredients on the back of your shampoo bottle? I know I sure as hell can't. Pantene and Herbal Essences sure smell great, but what the fuck is in them?

Sometimes I wonder how people before us lived. I mean, what did they shower with? Didn't they smell all the time? How did the world survive without chemistry and science to help us out? Seriously, don't get me wrong, science has gotten us so far. I have no idea where we would even be today without the gains made by science. But then again when it comes to the cosmetic industry and the things they produce to make money, J and I have found many simple things to replace products we use every day and these simple things are not only cheaper, they work better!

Shampoo
I used to be one of those women that slathered my hair up everyday in the shower with salon hair care products, if I could afford them at the time, or some other popular brand of shampoo. Since I have fine hair, I was always concerned with volume. Well, the great news is I can fix that with VOLUMIZING SHAMPOO for fine hair, which was also guaranteed to make my fine hair strong! Thanks guys!! However, I kept noticing over and over I had frizzies, everywhere. My hair also seemed to keep thinning and that's scary when I'm not even 30 yet.

After some research, and unintended experimentation being home with two small kids, I found that my first culprint was washing my hair everyday. (Oh, and that fine hair shampoo is actually formulated to dry fine hair out so that it'll stand up better, kind of counterproductive to the making hair stronger part.) It was a hard addiction to stop. Really hard. I personally thought it was gross, but found my hair was much stronger and shinier when I was busy with a newborn and a one and a half year old and didn't get time to wash my hair. Like not greasy shinier, but shinier even when I did finally find the time to take a shower. I went from washing my hair every other day about a year ago, to now I wash it every 4 (sometimes I wet it down if my style needs it othertimes I just wake up and go). I know, that sounds disgusting. Believe me though, your body is very versatile and adjusts to this. The only reason most people have super greasy hair after going one day without washing is that washing with shampoo actually dries out our hair and scalp. The greasiness is your body trying to help your hair out and restore some moisture. It's on a schedule and if you mess with it, it's going to have to take a little while to figure out what the hell you are doing and what you've changed. It took a while for my body to adjust to this. But once it has...Holy COW! I rarely, if ever lose hair when I wash my hair! I used to lose clumps, every day. My hair was so brittle. Not only that, my hair is so much shinier now. And on days 2-4 of not washing, I can do whatever with my hair and it stays. It used to just fall out of a ponytail, or never hold curl. Now it stays. And it's not greasy. I've asked my husband (who also follows this routine) and he says it's not a grease fest. That, and I'm very anti being icky. So I wouldn't adhere to this if I had disgusting hair.

After some more online searching, my husband and I also found that washing your hair with baking soda and then doing an apple cider vinegar rinse works really well. Sounds messed up, yep. But then again, think about all those chemicals you aren't absorbing in the shower! Check out this easy instructables here. If that's not really thing, we also sometimes use a simple castile soap but still condition with the ACV. I can actually pronounce the ingredients on the label. We like Dr. Bronner's unscented baby version. Oh, and using baking soda is cheap and doesn't pollute the environment with all those plastic shampoo containers (we buy the HUGE baking soda from Sam's Club)

Oh, and for those of you who are wondering, I STILL SHOWER EVERYDAY. So don't think I'm running around all stinky.

NOTE: To do your body even more of a favor consider an even crazier (even less mainstream) alternative. Maybe to come in the future for me is an experiment like these:
Sean Bronner
Sean Bonner update
No More Dirty Looks
Free the Animal

Please let me know if you decide to try any of this. I'd like to hear your reactions. And remember, the body NEEDS SOME TIME to adjust. Don't go frantic if on the third day you feel "icky".


I suggest that if you are open to doing your body and the environment a favor, do some research yourself to check all this out. I have more posts to come on this topic, toothpaste, deodorant, lotion and shaving alternatives.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Boobies!

Today's Topic
BOOBIES


While I used to think mine were too small, I did acknowledge that at least they were perky and a bit cute. However, after the birth of my two children, things just aren't the same. I breastfed both of them and whether it was that, the pregnancy itself, or gaining and losing pregnancy weight twice in the course of 3 years, they just aren't the same.

During a moment of weakness I decided to look up breast implants, what was involved and how much it was. I mean, if it's going to make it bearable for me to look at myself in the mirror and get naked around my husband, it's fricken worth it, right?

In my searchings I came upon this site: 48 reasons not to get a boob job and was intrigued. I read through them, plus a few of the other things he had written and came to realize that this boob ideal is only in my head. It's imaginary. Why would I spend money that could be spent on my family curing something that isn't broken? Many women say they regret it because it's painful and sometimes leads to very bad things, men wrote in and said they think it's unnecessary, so why do women do it?

We do it because society tells us we should. The site 007 Breasts has some interesting thoughts that I really wanted to share because I think that it's valid.

What's a good way to make easy money off humans? Well, first we tell them there is something wrong with them, then we offer to fix it and make money off them when there really isn't anything wrong.

#1 Imaginary Boob Media "fact"
Breasts are for sex. Men (and sometimes women too) you guys need them to get turned on.

#2 Imaginary Boob Media "fact"
Being as they are sexual, they are taboo. Showing off breasts in public is indecent and wrong. It is wrong to breastfeed children because boobies are for sex. What the hell are you doing?

Truth to #1 and #2:  Most cultures don't equate breasts with sex at all. Their intended function is to feed children. Men have breasts and you don't see anyone getting excited about those. Here in our culture we make them taboo and then sexualize them in media images in order to make money. The pornographic industry can now make a killing by showing men bare breasts that they can not see elsewhere. And truly: if this taboo was any less, for example if topless tanning was widely accepted and practiced here in the US like it is many other places, everybody would know how female breasts looked like - and pornographic magazines and websites would sell a whole lot less. Remember, the foot-binding-tiny-feet thing in China used to really get the semen squirting a while ago. Now look at what we think of that.

Oh, and not to mention the money pharmaceutical companies make from selling formula because shoving your sexualized breast in a baby's mouth is wrong according to them. Meanwhile the infants are the ones that suffer when a perfectly healthy lactating breast (yes there are conditions and situations that require formula and then it's all good) goes to waste so that we can shove a plastic chemical laden nipple into the baby's mouth to pump in our chemical laden formula based upon milk from a cow titty. MMMM cow titty, high fructose corn syrup and chemical vitamins and minerals. Everything a growing infant needs.

#3 Imaginary Boob Media "fact"
Boobs are supposed to be round and perky. Breast implants might be fake, but perky round, natural boobs are preferable. So, if you don't have those, you need to get implants to correct your problem. Any man in your life will not want to look at your saggy flat flaps.

#3 Truth: Women and men go check out the galleries here. I'm serious. Get out of your brainwashed, insecure minds and look at what's real. Airbrushing is not real. Round globes peaking out of lacy bras are not real. They are the products of airbrushing, plastic surgery, bra stuffing, and amazing bras. Even women with natural round perky breasts have some sort of defects. Veins and normal skin variation is normal folks. When was the last time you saw that in a Victoria's Secret ad? If you liked the look of your boobs, how could anyone make money off you? If you hate them though, wow, you buy bras, creams, special shirts, perhaps even go so far as to get plastic surgery. Plus, your low self esteem levels makes you a better consumer. You are now more likely to try to hide your flaws with makeup, special hair products, you might need prozac, blah blah blah, it goes on and on.

I hope all you women out there go home and take a good look at your girls in the mirror. The next time you see something that makes you feel shitty, think real hard about all the work that went into making you feel like crap so someone can make a shitpile of money off of you. I'm working real hard myself to reverse the brainwashing and embrace my girls for what they are: TOTALLY NORMAL.

Please go ahead and leave your thoughts.

Enough

After consistently hating myself for as long as I can remember, through annorexia in middle school, self mutilation in high school and college, a "suicide" attempt around 20, depression medications, an overnight stint in a mental hospital, therapy, feeling secure for a couple years, having two children, and constantly, constantly returning to the old feelings of hating myself, I have had enough. I know I am not alone. Women of all types and ages hate themselves everywhere. And it's not just limited to women, men hate themselves too. Why? There has to be a reason why we all seem to look in the mirror and consistently feel we are not enough.

So, I've started to search. In an attempt to understand and reverse the brainwashing that has been going on since before I was born, I have started to look at what it is I hate so much and try to figure out why. What I am finding is that it all boils down to money. Yep, money. What doesn't boil down to money?

I really don't know how long I will stay on this venture, I only know that there are so so many others like me out there and I'm so damn sick of it. I sound angry because I am. Our media, doctors, everywhere we turn are there constantly telling us that there is something wrong with us and that we, normal people, are inadequate. I have decided to at least vent this some in a blog in attempt to chronicle my progress and help others out there. The things that I attack will really hit home for some of you and others, if anyone reads this, will see me as some sort of bitter fugly woman that attacks everything that is normal just because I'm not it. But, I urge you to look beyond the brainwashing yourself and really, really look at what is being fed to you. Am I the wrong and bitter one? Or has the poison just infiltrated down to your core so much that there is no way you can even see it?