Wednesday, December 3, 2014
A million different directions.
Ok, well maybe not a million. But I have felt lately like we have so much going on right now that my mind is being pulled in that many ways.
Here's a snapshot of my current workload:
Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Saturdays I get to both work at the store and homeschool. B has tae kwon do at 4:30 on Monday and Wednesday and 5:30 on Thursday. Z has tae kwon do at 5 on Thursday. Z has dance at 3:50 on Mondays. B & Z both have gymnastics on Tuesdays at 5 and 5:45 an hour and a half away. J & I have tae kwon do at 6:30 on Monday and Wednesday. We have multiple meetings every week bc we need to build a new store. Meetings with builders, realtors, the corporate powers that be to try to figure that out. We also are trying to buy the two stores from my in-laws. This means meetings with corporate over approval, business plans, financial plans, assessments, psychological and personality assessments, etc. Fights and negotiations with my in-laws. Trying to coordinate a huge sale to sell off enough furniture in order to demo our building. Lastly, home life: suppers, walking the dog, feeding the cats. Oh, and my cat is peeing all over my house. Finding time for health when we get home at 9 at night. Oh and I almost forgot, I'm homescooling and Jason is running two businesses. ANNNDDD, I have my Etsy shop with 10 orders in queue. Oh and isn't it xmas?!? My kids are outright pissed because we haven't done the tree yet.
I know my kids are in a lot but honestly B needs something outside of himself and us, a goal to help him control his emotions. And Z is the most alive when she's at gymnastics. I can't explain but it's something all her own. J & I need at least some push toward something to keep us at least moving and something to relieve stress and not create it. Tkd is better for us then chilling in front of the tv every night. My Etsy shop is the one way I get to explore my creativity. I've turned it off multiple times and as my creativity goes dormant so do many parts of me.
However, my day today was too much. Just honestly too much. Got up, got ready, fed kids, went to work, did math with kids while juggling work, did reading with kids, started a big merchandising project, helped customers and broke up kid fights, juggled the three till noon, ate, went to bank to drop off deposits, went to Walmart for decorations for the store, got back to the store and fought with kids, helped customers, got calls from J about very stressful financial news for our building project, started to put up store decorations, rushed out of doors for tae kwon do, rushed home to let out dog and pick up J. Went back to tae kwon do, ate supper at Arby's, got home at 9 with cranky kids and a stomach ache to find I forgot over holding Thanksgiving and cooking for everyone by myself (with J's help a bit) that I had 4 Etsy orders that needed to go out today.
And tonight J talks all exasperated about how we can't keep going out to eat, about how the house is a mess, about how this project for the store is escalating out of control because we have us juggling corporate, the business and his parents, about what I did and didn't get done today. I'm juggling all aspects of work, school, family, business and home life. He is too. But he gets to go to work without two little helpers. I go with them, I need to school them. I need to juggle customer calls and tugs on my arm to go potty at the same time. I chose this. I know it. I chose to help him at work. But that's because the biz needs it. It can't survive without someone else there to help him and we can't afford to pay someone to do it. So I'm trying to step in. Pro bono per se at the moment. Because the stores aren't ours. We are just trying to keep them afloat. But wow, how the hell... Just how the hell am I going to do this?